More Thoughts on Hailey Owens

I can't get Hailey Owens off my mind. Even without the news and Facebook reminders, I still daily think of her and her family.

"Where is God in all this?" "How can a loving God allow such things to happen?"

How many times have we heard these questions, or asked them ourselves.

As I have pondered this situation a different perspective has come to my mind. May I be so bold as to write it down in black and white:

There is no good in this world, EXCEPT for God. If it were not for God all of our children would be murdered and kidnapped. We would be so overrun with crime that we could never leave our homes. So I say again, "There is no good in this world except for God."

Did anyone notice that it was ONE man that took the life of Hailey Owens, and it was TEN THOUSAND that showed up in support for her family? What about the FIFTEEN HUNDRED bikers that rode in honor of her? Or the MULTITUDE of prayers, money, food, and other donations that many people have made to this family. ONE evil vs. THOUSANDS of good.

Instead of questioning God's goodness, maybe we should be thankful for His presence.

The Bible says, " Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights,"

When Jesus was on earth He never ceased doing good. He healed, He fed, He comforted, He taught, He loved. He was on this earth for a short 33 years, and when He left He said it was our job to do as He did. We are to BE Jesus on earth.

And this is what it looks like - people rallying around a family in the midst of an atrocious tragedy.
People going out of their way to reach out to someone that they don't even know. People caring enough to watch out for their neighbors.

So, while I say this is a horrendous thing that has happened, I say also that God IS still here, and He IS still good, and He is showing His heart through the thousands of people in this community.

May we never cease to do good, and in so doing may the world know that God is real and that He is good.

A Mom's Thoughts on a Kidnapping.

I'm a mom.

A mom.

 Days like today I don't want to be a mom. I almost wish I wasn't. I don't want to be responsible for the welfare of four young children. I don't want to have to make the decisions that might not turn out. I. Don't. Want. To. I want to lie in my bed and scream. Scream that it's not fair. That it should not be.

Life shouldn't be like this.

You see, I have a friend, and she had a niece. A niece that was kidnapped in a town not far from me yesterday and murdered. A beautiful 10 year old girl who will never turn 11.

 It's not fair.

I'm scared. I don't want my children to leave my sight. I don't want them to sleep in their own rooms. I don't even want to let them out in their own backyard to play. My son may never ride his bike down the street again. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm spilling my gut here. And this is what I'm feeling.

There's a lump in my throat and a sickness in the pit of my stomach. I want to move. Get away from.... the world.

Then I have a reality check: We live here.  Here on this earth. There's nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. No guarantees.

Maybe we could all hide in a room. With the door locked. And no windows. Maybe one of those bomb shelters from the sixties. No one could get in, and we couldn't get out. No one could even see us or our children. We could stay there until, I don't know, forever? And hide. In the dark.

Sounds good at the moment.

"But, what kind of existence is that?" I think. "It's not," my heart says. "There's no living in the hiding. There's no freedom in fear."

"Why did this happen?" Everyone wants to know. "I HAVE NO IDEA!!!"  I want to scream. And I don't. And the lump comes back to my throat.

I do know we live in a fallen world. One that's not perfect and never will be until Christ comes and makes all things new. I also know that no matter what I do, I can't guarantee my children will survive tomorrow, or tonight, for that matter. In my heart I know that keeping them in a bomb shelter will only stifle their lives instead of strengthen them.

We were meant to live in the light. We were meant to spread our wings. To try new things and discover. To experiment and explore. To live up to our full potential. To be what HE created us to be.

You can't do that while you're hiding from "what might happen." Neither can your kids. Or mine.

Sometimes "things" do happen. Terrible things. We do our best to teach and prepare our kids, but sometimes they still happen..... Sin reigns on this earth we live on. But the truth is, that's exactly where Satan wants us to be. So scared of the bad that we can't do any good.  That we aren't any good.

I don't want that to be me. I want to let my kids enjoy the "sunshine" of this life. I want to trust in Someone greater than myself. I choose to trust that even in the midst of the heartache and craziness  of this life that God is still working, and that I have a purpose greater than hiding.

There is NO living in the hiding.

I keep reminding myself that, and I keep praying for this dear family.

A Dramatic Hypochondriac

If you are thinking of traveling to Tanzania to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro..... Think again. It's not there anymore. It has left Africa and planted itself on  MY lip!!

In the form of a cold sore, of course....

I asked Dan if he thought it was very noticeable. "Noooooo," was his lying reply. Dan's a terrible liar!! He told me it was really okay, just looked like a Botox job gone bad. Then he laughed. I didn't think it was funny at all. Not only is it a monstrosity on my face, it's extremely painful. I'm talking childbirth level pain. All in one concentrated spot!

Okay, so maybe that whole, "you forget what childbirth feels like" just might apply here.

None the less, I'm thinking a lipectomy might be in order. No lip has got to look better (and feel better) than the one I currently have!

Dan thinks I'm a bit of a dramatic hypochondriac. I beg to differ. I'm just extremely cautious. Extremely.

Take the other day for instance -

Dan came home form work to find several windows in the house open and me lying on the couch. It was around 30 degrees outside, so he naturally questioned my actions in the form of,  "Why do you have the windows open, it's 30 degrees outside!!??" "I'm dying of carbon monoxide poisoning, and I didn't want the children to die too." I replied. "You're what?" was his unsympathetic (and unconcerned, I might add) reply. "I'm DYING of carbon monoxide poisoning, and I DIDN'T want the children to die too," I repeated emphatically. He was still very unconcerned about the state of my health. In fact it seemed that he was a lot more concerned that the children were going to freeze to death as evidenced by the fact that he was walking around closing all the windows....... He finally (after the windows were shut) came and stood over me as I lay on the couch and asked why I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning. "I have a bad headache, dizziness, and I'm sick to my stomach," I told him "Those are all symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning. I read it on the internet" "Don't you think those might all be symptoms of just a simple virus also?" was his still unsympathetic answer. "Maybe," I said. "But I didn't want to take a chance with the kids, I mean, do you want to come home and find us all DEAD??" He walked away shaking his head. "Where are you going?" I asked. "To stoke the fire." he said.

And then there was the night -

"Dan, I think I have a brain aneurysm," I told him in the middle of the night. (My favorite time of day to share important things.) "Why do you think that?" he asked. I'm pretty sure he was humoring me. He doesn't know what an aneurysm feels like though,,,. "My head just feels weird, and I think it might be an aneurysm," I said. "Okay," was again his very unconcerned reply. I was really worried! "I'm afraid it might explode, and I don't want to die in my sleep." I told him. "Mm hm," he said sleepily. "Well, aren't you going to stay awake, and make sure I don't DIE!!!??" I calmly asked him. "Nope," he said as he rolled over. So, I had to stay awake and make sure I didn't die of an aneurysm myself. That was extremely boring. I finally gave up and went to sleep too.

I still can't figure out why Dan thinks I'm a hypochondriac. But, if I die before morning of this cold sore, I'm sure he will be a bit more sympathetic.......

This is part of poor Dan's "Everyday Life."

A Quiet New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve. Not a huge holiday at the Van Patten house. We had sick kiddos and a man that's not excited about large parties on New Year's Eve, so we made our own party. At home with our family and an auntie. We made soup, had a Nerf gun war, ate popcorn in the family room, (this is normally a strict no, no) and had an indoor camp out. It was pretty much a perfect evening. The Nerf gun war went well. We set up forts on both sides of the room and shot foam darts at each other. (A pretty common occurrence in a house of mostly boys.)  We only had two people in tears by the end of the game. (I told Dan if he would stop crying,  I would.)

I picked Disney's "Swiss Family Robinson" as the movie of choice. I thought the kids might enjoy one that I used to like as a child. They did. They got scared, laughed, and talked all the way through it. Oh, and spilled popcorn everywhere. Zack piped up that it could only get better if we drank soda in the family room too. So we did. Memories. We decided we're moving to an island and living in a tree house.

Dan had to work the next morning and Elijah wasn't feeling well, so they opted out of the camp out. The rest of us bedded down in the family room for the night. We watched the ball drop. (Still not sure what all the excitement is about that.)  It's not even much of a drop, more of a really slow slide. None the less, we dutifully watched it before we went to sleep.

As I lay on the couch (I did not dutifully sleep on the floor.) I looked out the window and noticed the stars. I can't see them from my bedroom, so it was nice being able to watch them as I drifted off to sleep. I also noticed that I had no one to talk to in the middle of the night. (Dan had probably thought this one through!) It was New Year's Eve though, a time to make goals and resolutions. I decided since Dan was FAR away in the bedroom, I would talk to God.

Instead of telling God my goals for the new year, I asked Him what He wanted of me. What He wanted me to work on this year, which direction He wanted me to go. Sometimes in the silence, when we take the time to listen, God speaks to our hearts. He gave me one word that night, in the quiet of sleeping children and the stars out the window. He clearly whispered it to my heart, "obedience." "Obedience to what, Lord?" was my quick reply. I like clear direction, tell me when and where, and I'm there! The response was the same. Quietly whispered from His Spirit to my heart, "just obedience."

It's a big word - obedience.

 As I looked at the stars it reminded me of Abraham. I'm looking at the same stars he did that fateful night when God made big promises to him. Promises of a ginormous sized family, and most importantly The Deliverer. Abraham was also given an instruction of obedience from God. Go where you have no clue and do what you don't know. I just love clear directions like those...... But, Abraham had faith. He believed God  And he WENT! With only the stars and God's promise to guide him.

How I loooong for faith like that. Faith to take the unknown step and to fully believe in a God you can't see.

Maybe obedience is the first step to that kind faith. Maybe a promise of obedience is the first step to obedience. Maybe a quiet New Year's Eve is the beginning of a new kind of year for me. A kind of year where God uses me when I obey Him. A year where I'm listening to the promptings of His Spirit and actually doing what He says.

 "Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness." Gal. 3:6one

A Jesus Errand

Someone said a picture is worth a thousand words. I agree. I'm not going to write a great deal, but you can see a lot through the pictures. It was a blessed day.

The children and adults of Galloway have the opportunity throughout the year to earn "points" by doing projects for the missionaries there. They do things like clean up their town and help out around the Baptist Church and the missionaries home. They save their points all year long to buy Christmas gifts at the Christmas Store. If not for this opportunity most of these families would have nothing on Christmas morning.

 

The day we went was the day the children come to redeem their points. They were so precious! They would make a list of all the family members that they wanted to buy presents for.  We would then walk around with them and help them choose their presents. After they had chosen a gift for each person on their list we would ask them if they wanted to buy something for themselves so they would have something to unwrap on Christmas morning. They would excitedly pick out something that they wanted for Christmas. After they have chosen all their gifts, they go to the wrapping station where volunteers help wrap their gifts, so they are all ready for Christmas

 

One young man stood out to me in particular. He was just 13, and had earned 70 points throughout the year. When he came to the "store" to buy his gifts he wouldn't come in. He insisted that his mom and little sister go in to pick out his gifts for him. His mom, wanting to be sure he had a gift to open, picked out a couple of things for him. As I was helping them wrap their gifts this manboy came in to see what had been purchased. He was quite upset that they had chosen anything for him. He stated that he intended his points to be used so his little brothers and sisters would have something on Christmas morning, and that he didn't want anything for himself. This child is fatherless as many of the children that come through the store are, and yet he is somehow learning to be a man.

 

I was humbled to see that these children who don't know much about Jesus are sometimes better examples of Him then I am. Most of them were way more concerned about gifts for others then they were about gifts for themselves. They know the odds. There's been giftless Christmases before. Still they choose that mom, sister, brother receive something special for Christmas from them before they think of themselves. All I could do as they walked out with their sacks of presents was wish them a Merry Christmas and remind them that Jesus loves them. And how He does! Jesus hasn't forgotten the forgotten. And we can't either. It's OK to be Jesus Crazy.

 

 

Note - The only way the ministry in Galloway can provide this Christmas Store is through the generosity of churches and individuals. If you would like to be a part of this ministry, you can reach them at:

 

Ronnie & Karen Grunewald

P.O. Box 284

Galloway, TN 38036

901-229-3595

 

or Becky Jackman

901-229-0100

Some Kind of Christmas Crazy

"So......I have this crazy idea." I said to Dan in the middle of the night the other night. That's mostly the time of day I wait to tell him my crazy ideas. He loves it. In fact he usually says, "Why do you wait until the middle of the night to tell me these things???!"That's how I know he likes it....

I wait, because I have his full attention, and he can't get away. And if he tells me my idea is crazy, it's easier to take in the dark. And I do have some crazy ones, that's why God gave me such a level headed husband.

He finally gave in. "What's your idea?" he bravely asked me. "I think we should drive to Galloway, TN this weekend and help the missionaries there with the Christmas store." I replied. Silence. I quickly started making my case, "They sent out an email that they really need help this year, and we've always said we wanted to take the kids and do something for others for Christmas, and we said some day we'd go over there, and ......I know it's crazy.

To drive 10 hours (5 each way) to work for 1 day is a little bit crazy. But, then there's that young girl, Katie's her name, that traveled all the way from Tennessee to Uganda to share Jesus with so many, and stayed in Uganda because she's crazy for Jesus. And then there's that amazing God baby that traveled through eternity to earth on that Christmas night. Just. For. Me.

Maybe it's not so crazy.

But then I tell myself,

This is the last weekend before Christmas, there's so much to do, shopping, baking, presents to wrap, people to see....and the kids haven't even been to see Santa yet.....

No, they haven't seen Santa yet, but in Galloway they will see Jesus. I know. I've been there, and I've seen Him. Amongst the dirt, poverty, drugs, and kids no one but the missionaries care about, He's there. He's working. He's real.

One of these days, the kids will all know the "truth" about Santa anyway, and there will be disappointment. I saw the sad eyes when my daughter found out the stories weren't true. But then there's that other story. You know the one about that miracle baby, Jesus, that Christmas is really all about? He's real, He is truth. That God baby, that Giver of good gifts? He won't disappoint. He is still alive and still giving His gifts over 2000 years later.

And we can help Him. We can be Jesus on earth. There are so many little children in Galloway, TN who wouldn't receive a thing on Christmas Day if it weren't for the missionaries living in that little town. Those kids already know Santa's only a story. But those missionaries are showing them that Jesus of Christmas is real and He cares about a little thing like a Christmas gift. And those missionaries, they need help. They are there working tirelessly 365 days a year, and they need help here in their busiest time of year. They need help enough they are asking for it.

Can we leave the hustle and bustle and last minute shopping to take our kids on a Jesus errand? Can we stop putting an abundance under our tree for a minute to put something under someone else's? Can we teach our children that life is not all about them this Christmas? Can we remember that life is not all about us....

I talked myself into it. But, I went to sleep without an answer from that level headed man of mine lying next to me.

He's a good man though. He knows when an idea is just plain crazy and when an idea is Jesus crazy. I can't always tell the difference. But, he can. He called me from work the next day. I didn't say a word about it. It was too early in the day. I only talk about crazy in the middle of the night. He suddenly says into the phone, "What time do you want to leave Friday?" My heart jumped out of my chest.

Friday. Friday we will load up a sack of gifts and our little family and take them on a new adventure. My plan was to go to Branson, finish our shopping, and see a Christmas show. But a God baby, a crazy idea, and a good man changed my plan.

This Christmas, I'm thankful for a dad. A dad who's giving up time and money to make sure his children take an opportunity to serve Jesus. A dad who's doing it with them. I'm proud to be married to that dad.

This is what I want for Christmas. I want to see that little baby in the manger come to life in my babies. I want to see the babies of Galloway know that the Jesus of Christmas cares about them too. I want to be changed. I want Christmas to be a lot less about me and a lot more about Him.

We leave tomorrow. I can barely sleep. It's like "the night before Christmas."

Reasons to Stop Writing, or Bumps in the Road

I think the hardest thing about writing is getting back to writing after life throws you a curve ball. So many thoughts in my head to write about, but I can't seem to make myself write them down.

My curve ball was my husband getting injured and spending time out of work and  in the hospital this past summer.....

Definitely not a major deal compared to what so many people go through daily. But, it was a major deal for me.

When suddenly the strongest person in your life becomes the weakest person, things change. Priorities change. I found myself sitting in a hospital room. You know, the place where really old or really sick people go. Not us. But, there we were. And my husband was one the one lying in the bed. "Severe infection from injury," the doctor said. "He needs to be in the hospital on an IV."  All I knew was that he hadn't been able to walk or move out of bed for almost a week. And that's not like my Dan. If I can get him to sit still with me for more than a half hour, I feel lucky.

The first night he was on IVs the infection spread instead of receded. You could actually see it growing, covering his leg. And I cried. Helpless. My mind jumped ahead, "What if the antibiotics don't work?" "What if he loses his leg?", "What if he dies?"  "What will I do.?" I didn't want to worry him with my fears, but he and God are the ones that I always tell my fears to. I crawled into that little hospital bed with him at three in the morning, and he mustered up enough strength to put his arms around me and we cried out to God together. Because, really, what else do you do.

Life is suddenly put into perspective. You realize that one day, one hour, one minute can change your whole life. We were just at the river, playing with our kids like we do so often. Dan tripped and cut his knee on a rock. Not really a big deal -  an ER visit, and  a few stitches. That's all. But it wasn't all.  And now, here we were, lying in that hospital bed together. I have never seen him so sick before, ever.

There were blessings, as there are in every hardship life throws us. People, being Jesus on earth, were the main ones. They came to see us in that little room and helped us pass the long hours. They brought us food, books, and movies. They took wonderful care of our children while we were away. They prayed. When we finally got to come home, they were there cleaning our house so it would be ready for us, and dinner was in the crock pot. Blessings. God always brings blessings.

It was only a month long ordeal, though it seemed like a year. I thought of those that have "years" long ordeals. And my heart cries for them. And I want to be Jesus to them. I want to help be a little bit of the blessing that so many were for me.

I try to get back to writing. Suddenly things in my life are not quite so humorous. It's suddenly harder to sit down and stare at a blank screen. So I don't.

But, here it is Christmas. The time of year that Christ is renewed in our hearts. He came to make all things new. He's renewing me this Christmas. Reminding me of who He is, and why He came.

 I don't want to let the bumps in my road to become mountains that stop me. I want to be an overcomer.