A Letter to My Single Friends

To my Dear Single Friends,

Sometimes life is tough. Especially when you're single. Everyone around you wants to know why you're not married, when you are getting married, when you're next date is, what you are doing to change your singleness, and every other annoying question they can think of. I know, I've asked these questions. I'm guilty. And somewhere along the way you began to ask yourself the same questions.

 Somehow, somewhere, we started to believe that our completeness is found in another person.

It's not.

The bottom line is, life is not even about us. It's not about you, it's not about me. It's not about finding our "completeness." It's about Jesus. And if you're about Jesus, then your life is about living for others. We all have the same calling as Christians - giving up our life for others. You and I, married or single, we're no different. Our completeness is in the One who gave us the calling of death to self, not in the one we sleep with.

I'm married and I give up my life every day.  It's not much of a choice for me. I have children who demand it. It's called "mom life." I wouldn't trade it, but sometimes I wonder what in the world I'm doing for eternity!

But, you, oh Single One, you have the CHOICE still. You choose where and when you give up your life, and for whom. You have the capacity to bless so many people in so many places. So much more than I! Again, I know. I have been blessed by you. And I've seen so many others blessed by you. It's not the big things that I'm talking about, not mission trips to Africa, inner city Bible schools, street evangelism, or door to door witnessing.

It's the time you came to my house to visit me. You had time to stay for days because you DIDN'T have a family at home waiting on you. You can't even begin to know what it did to my spirit. You played with my children, much more energetically than I play with them because you are not so worn out from your own! Watching you love my children made my heart sing. You stayed up late at night and talked with me, and refreshed my soul in the Lord. I love God more because of you. You helped me in countless ways through those hard early days of newborns. You had time to send me a birthday card, or a random note. You bought me a gift, that let me know you were thinking of me. You drop by without calling, and you don't care what my house looks like. And I'm grateful you come.

This is just how you give up yourself for me. And it's small on the scale of what I've seen you do for others.

You spend your money to travel to see a friend that needs you. You use your talents to help others in countless ways. You sing for church services, weddings, and funerals like no one else I know. You use your computer skills (and valuable free time) to work on projects for people you care about. And sometimes people you don't even know. You fix food  for others, and babysit their children. You're an advocate for those who can't be one for themselves. You volunteer at church for things that married people don't have time to do. You invite your friends to do fun things with you. Things they don't think of themselves anymore because they've lost themselves in their everyday life. You will drive hours just to bless someone for a day. You give your hard earned money to help a child or a missionary in need.

You are Jesus on earth. And oh, how the earth needs you!

I love you, my single friends, and I have no idea why I have wanted you to get married. For when you get married you probably won't have time for me anymore.

Don't listen to the gainsayers. Be who you are. Be wholly single, wholly for Jesus, wholly for a hurting world.