Wednesday, October 22, 2014

ERNO!!!!!

We recently took an amazing trip to the Grand Canyon. It far exceeded any of my expectations, and I highly recommend it to anyone. I would go back in a minute.

Except for the fact that it's a loooonnnng way there. We traveled 3,760 miles to be exact.

3,760 miles in a Suburban with boys.

Need I say more?

Traveling with boys can be a trip in itself. They come up with things I would never think of. I looked back at one point to see my 6 year old son with six crayons sticking out of his face. Yes, his face. How he was breathing, I'm not sure. But he was smiling.


And then there's the gas. Not the kind that goes into the Suburban. The kind that floats around the Suburban making everyone rethink the whole trip. It mostly comes from boys.  I'm just sayin' it like it is, folks - boys and gas seem to go together. And they are not the least bit bothered by it. It's the rest of us that suffer.

We have one son with an abnormal amount of gastronomical issues. (I won't mention any names here to protect the innocent, err guilty.) We have deduced that he is a bit lactose intolerant. Why someone kept feeding him dairy on this trip, I'll never know!! But alas, he kept eating it. And tooting. He's quiet though, you never know what hits you until it's too late.

The only saving factor was that for some reason every time he tooted he would yell, "Erno, Erno, roll down the windows!" Which we did as fast as we could.  Where he came up with the word "erno" we may never know, but we were extremely grateful for the warning.....

It quickly became a standing rule for anyone who was going to "offend" the rest of the vehicle to yell out, "Erno, Erno, roll down the windows!"  And this cry was heard more than I care to admit here.  I'm not sure what the other people on the freeway thought of our Suburban going down the road at 80mph with everyone's head sticking out the windows. (You're starting to realize how long 3,760 miles can be, aren't you...)

Finally on the way home Dan leaned over to me and whispered, "You have got to get that toot cry on video." I'm not sure if he was afraid we would forget the misery or the erno...., but I thought I would humor him.

Our particular "unnamed" son who made an hourly or so erno cry was sitting right behind me, so I kept the video camera close and waited.

I didn't have to wait long and happened to catch him in the very act. I quickly pulled out the camera and pointed it in his direction. I held my breath (literally) and waited......nothing. No warning, no erno, nothing. First time in 3760 miles. Nothing, but fumes. I prompted him - "What do you say when you toot?"

He looked up at the camera meekly and said, "Excuse me??"

Whoever said, "The journey is the destination," didn't travel with boys.

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