Age.....It's A Beautiful Thing

So......I feel 24. I try not to look in the mirror because I don't see 24. But that's what I feel.

My body's been fighting with me about this lately. My body insists that we are no longer 24, but 34. Unfortunately for me my metabolism agrees with my body. Hence those after baby pounds and pooches have ceased to leave me as they have done in the past. I have determined that this was NOT going to happen to me. I've always had a high metabolism and I intended to keep it! Did you know your metabolism tremendously drops in your 30s? 30s!!!! And here I thought the 30s was the new 20s.

It seems your self control changes once you hit your 30s also. The problem with this is it doesn't seem to decrease... I used to eat one small brownie and be completely satisfied. Now I eat one small pan of brownies and then I'm satisfied. (This might be contributing to the bulge, but I doubt it.)

Well, I've decided it's time to do something about the unwanted bulge around my middle. (Especially after my TWENTY year old sister said, "Yes, I noticed you had that....."  She'll be 34 one of these days.) I began exercising. I did this for TWO WEEKS and nothing happened!!! Nothing. Two weeks. Nothing. Still have a bulge..... I've decided to do something different.

I purchased my first "shapewear item." The word "shapewear" is code for "squish it all in." Shapewear sounds much nicer. I recieved my "shapewear" in the mail today. I took it out and looked at it. It appeared to be nice little tank top. Little did I know about how deceiving looks can be, being inexperienced with these kinds of garments.  I've learned two things about shapewear in the short time I've owned it.
     
     1. If you have claustrophobia, don't bother with shapewear. As I squeezed into this thing I could feel myself start to have anxieties. Then the hyperventilation began. Those little tanks are tight! Breathing is optional once you get it on.

     2. Don't EVER, and I repeat, EVER try to get shapewear on or off without having someone around who can help you. These are NOT  "do it yourself" garments! I managed to get the thing on after much duress. (and hyperventilating.) But, I could not get it off. It rolled up in a tight roll right under my armpits and that's where it stayed. It was stuck. I was stuck...in my shapewear! It would neither go up....or down. The claustrophobia really kicked in then. I couldn't figure out what to do. My kids were the only other people home, and I thought the sight of me flailing around while hyperventilating might scare them. Especially with a rolled up tank stuck under my armpits. I thought maybe I should call and ask for a refund, and while they were on the phone ask if perhaps they send out technical support to help people get these things off.

In the end I did calm myself down enough to eventually get my shapewear off.....by myself.  I burned enough calories that I don't think I'll have to do my workout today. In fact just to recover from the stress, I may have to bake a small pan of brownies.....