The plan was to leave the house at 7:00, then 7:30, 8:00.......It was somewhere between 8:00-8:30 when we finally pulled out of Lakeview. You know, getting everyone fed and in the car. Then there was the electric bill I couldn't find, but needed to pay before we left...
Packing for six people no matter what is a lot, but packing for six people for almost three weeks is a WHOLE LOT! Dan was sure our Honda Oddessey mini van was over the suggested weight limit as he shoved the last bag into the back end. We'll never make it with all this weight, he said." "Do we have to take all this food?" I am definitely an over packer when it comes to food. Our kids eat lots of snacks, and we have a couple that have blood sugar issues.
The first leg of the journey was pretty uneventful as left Arkansas and headed into Missouri. The only thing of interest that happened was that every time we hit a curve Dan would yell for everyone to, "Lean in!" so that the van didn't tip over because of it being top heavy. The kids would repeatedly say, "You're kidding, right, Dad?" I just leaned in to humor Dan.
Our first stop of the day was to see our dear friend, Bev and her sweet kiddos in Omaha, NE. We pulled in to Gene Leahy park where we were going to meet them. We visited the porta potty first thing, and Kade's take on this was that it was "very roomy." I guess if I had to leave a review on the park bathroom, "roomy" would be a good word for it. It was definitely the biggest porta potty I've ever been in! Besides only having a porta potty, this park is pretty neat. It's right in the middle of downtown Omaha, so you have huge buildings on both sides of this pretty little oasis. There's a river with lots of geese, a waterfall, great green grass, and the best part - slides. Not just any slides, but huge bumpy slides that hurl you down at high rates of speed. There are two of them, which makes it incredibly fun to race down. We had been in the car for about eight hours and this was the perfect spot for this kids to run off some energy. I even tried the slides a few times as Dan reminded me that we had a lot of trip left and not to hurt myself. I know I'm not as young as I used to be, but really.... The kids raced up and down those slides for almost an hour until we called them off to go walk down by the river. It was a great stop and lots of fun to catch up with our sweet friends.
That was all our excitement for day one. We ended the night by checking into the hotel in Sioux Falls, SD.
Thursday, September 7, 2017
The Six Travelers Go West
"What about school?" I heard this question more than once as we prepared for our fall trip West. We had planned this trip for September because Dan doesn't like to fight crowds.
I thought about this question a lot. As I thought, I tried to remember what I learned the first three weeks of 7th grade. Nothing came to mind. I tried to remember what I learned the first three weeks of 4th grade. Nothing. I tried to remember what I learned the first three weeks of kindergarten and 9th grade. Still nothing.
Then I smiled....My 9th, 7th, 4th graders and my kindergartener WILL remember what they learned the first three weeks of the 2017-2018 school year.
We're on day three. We've already learned a lot about geology, history, zoology, geography, paleontology, weather, economy, math, writing, and thinking & communication skills. It's only day three. In fact day three is not over yet - we still have the history show at Mount Rushmore to see. I'm pretty sure I have a lot to learn there.
Our trip has already been a world of information and there's much more to come. My kids are journaling daily about what we're doing. I hope they read those journals again when they are adults and relive the adventures from their first three weeks of school.
I'm going to do some irregular, unusual blogging here in the next couple of weeks. Feel free to read or not to read a bit of it. I'm going to journal about our adventures West for my family that's at home, and because I want to remember details. If you do read it, I hope you enjoy our trip right along with us.
I'm calling it "The Six Travelers Go West" There's really a few more of us than six, but I'll focus mainly on the six people in my family.
Here is our journey West.
I thought about this question a lot. As I thought, I tried to remember what I learned the first three weeks of 7th grade. Nothing came to mind. I tried to remember what I learned the first three weeks of 4th grade. Nothing. I tried to remember what I learned the first three weeks of kindergarten and 9th grade. Still nothing.
Then I smiled....My 9th, 7th, 4th graders and my kindergartener WILL remember what they learned the first three weeks of the 2017-2018 school year.
We're on day three. We've already learned a lot about geology, history, zoology, geography, paleontology, weather, economy, math, writing, and thinking & communication skills. It's only day three. In fact day three is not over yet - we still have the history show at Mount Rushmore to see. I'm pretty sure I have a lot to learn there.
Our trip has already been a world of information and there's much more to come. My kids are journaling daily about what we're doing. I hope they read those journals again when they are adults and relive the adventures from their first three weeks of school.
I'm going to do some irregular, unusual blogging here in the next couple of weeks. Feel free to read or not to read a bit of it. I'm going to journal about our adventures West for my family that's at home, and because I want to remember details. If you do read it, I hope you enjoy our trip right along with us.
I'm calling it "The Six Travelers Go West" There's really a few more of us than six, but I'll focus mainly on the six people in my family.
Here is our journey West.
Saturday, September 2, 2017
Faith Stories
I'm up early on a Tuesday morning. I enjoy watching the sun come up when I can convince myself to get out of bed. God's gloriousness in nature is so evident in the morning hours.
My plan was to write a blog post on raising teens, because OH MY WORD I'm learning a lot. We're in the throws, Folks, and we do a lot wrong but by God's grace we've done a few things right. It helps me remember and process to write life stories out, and that was my plan.
But, in the middle of my plan to write a post on parenting teens, I'm reading a book. A book called, The Insanity of God. And I am moved. I am moved by the stories of Christians in other lands. I am overwhelmed by their faith stories. And God says to me, "What about you? Do you remember what I have done for you? Write your faith stories; write the faith stories of your family. Don't ever forget them."
So, instead of a post on parenting teens, here are our faith stories (at least some of them) -
When I was a young child my parents were quite poor. My dad had a taken a job at a small church as their full time pastor. We knew what it meant to live by faith. Our family was growing and out growing the small car that we had. My parents gathered us together one day and said, "Kids, we're outgrowing our car and we need a van. We don't have the money for a van, so we're going to ask our Heavenly Father to provide one for us." And we prayed together. Every day. I still remember praying for this van. After several weeks of praying, we had some first time visitors in our church. They were from Texas. We had never met them before; they had never even been to Bull Shoals before. They had come for vacation. At the service they told my dad that they wanted to meet with him after church. They sat down with him after the service that day and told him that God had laid it on their heart that they were supposed to give their van to him, and asked him if there was a need for one. I think my dad cried. Later that day my parents gathered us all together to told us they had something to tell us. They told us God had answered our prayer and we now had a van. Oh, what excitement! The family from Texas also told him when the tires wore out, he was to call them and they would replace the tires. We drove that van for many years. It not only hauled our family, but it was used as the church van also. We ended up becoming good friends with the visitors from Texas and kept up with them over the years. God moved in their hearts to become missionaries in Mexico. After they had been in Mexico for awhile a need arose. They needed a van to carry the locals to church. My family was able to give the van back to these precious people and it was used not only to bring people to church, but also as a Sunday school class room. These dear people who heard God's voice so many years ago are in their 90s now, and we are still friends.
The year was 1996. I was in Moscow, Russia serving as a missionary for four months. We had a lot of different avenues of ministry that we did while we were there, and a lot of them involved taking public transportation. Trying to always be on mission, we would take Bibles and tracts with us and pass them out on the metros. I loved looking down a metro car after we had passed out tracts to see the people sitting and reading about the love of God that seemed so far away in a place like Moscow. Sometimes the metro cars could be so full of people that you could barely move. We were riding along one day and I looked over at a woman sitting on the bench a little bit down from me. Sometimes when God speaks to you, you think, "Is that me thinking that or God talking?" This time I knew it was God's voice. He said to me, "Give that woman a tract." I don't know why I argued that day, but it seemed very inconvenient to me to walk down and give her a tract. The metro car was somewhat full and there were so many people standing all around this woman that I would have had to push through even to make it to her. So, that's what I told God. "There's too many people around her, God," I said. He replied, "Give that woman a tract." After a couple different lame arguments from me about how hard it would be because of the crowd to give her a tract, I finally said, "God, if you will move the people surrounding her, I will give her a tract." Now, I want to be clear here, God doesn't HAVE to do anything so you will obey Him. Obedience isn't about God, it's about you. But that day, God wanted to teach me something, and I'm so glad He's merciful! The instant I told God that I would give the woman a tract if He would move the people, EVERY SINGLE PERSON around that woman moved. All of them. Instantly. (And there's not that many places to move on a metro in Moscow!) I will never forget it. It was as if God was saying, "There is now NO obstacle for you to give this woman who I want to hear about salvation a tract!" I walked over and gave the woman a tract. I don't know the final outcome, but I have a suspicion that I will see that woman again someday, and we will worship Jesus together.
When we were growing up my dad did almost all of our car repair work on his own. I remember seeing him many times lying under a vehicle trying to figure out how to fix this or that. One day he was under one of our cars changing a part. He was trying to unscrew the part, and he was down to the last screw. Now my dad is a master at being creative when he doesn't have the right tools, but this time it wasn't working. He didn't have the right wrench and the last screw was stubborn. He kept trying different methods, but nothing was working. He just could not get it loose. In discouragement, he prayed, "God, I really need to get this part off and I don't have the right tool, could you help me?" God could have given him super strength at that moment, but He didn't. Right after my dad prayed this prayer, he heard a car drive by on the road in front of our house. As the car went by something fell out and bounced on the road with a clang. My dad drug himself out from the under car to see what it was - it was the EXACT wrench he needed to get the part off the car! True story, Folks. I know it sounds crazy, but it happened. He climbed back under the car and removed the part with ease. My dad carried that wrench around with him in his brief case for years as a reminder of God's faithfulness to us.
When I was 17 I was preparing to go on a mission trip to Russia. I needed a few thousand dollars to be able to go. We didn't have the money, but felt like God was leading me to go. We remembered the quote from Hudson Taylor - “Depend on it. God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply. He is too wise a God to frustrate His purposes for lack of funds, and He can just as easily supply them ahead of time as afterwards, and He much prefers doing so.” We begin to pray for God to provide for my trip. And, oh He did! In ways I never thought possible. I remember sitting in a local bank at a piano playing for their Christmas open house when a woman from the community came to talk to me. She leaned over me while I played and said, "I heard you were going on a mission trip to Russia - I want to help." She set down a check on my bench and walked out. I finished my song and picked up the check - it was for $500. I couldn't believe it! I could barely go back to playing Christmas songs. That was just the first of many. Money continued to come in from my church family, from the community, from relatives - people who were listening to God's voice. Money for the trip was a problem for me, but money is NEVER a problem for God. He provided over the whole amount that I needed for that 4 month mission trip. That trip was one of the most incredible in my life, and I'm so grateful to have been able to share the Gospel so many times in a place that had been so closed off to Jesus for so many years.
When we were growing up even the expense of clothes was a bit of a hardship for my family. My mom did a wonderful job making most of the clothes that we kids wore. My dad on the other hand couldn't really get by with homemade dress pants. He was in need of pants for work at one point, and my mom began to pray. I love how God hears our prayers no matter if we are a man, woman, or child. God was listening to her sweet request - one day a lady walked up to our front door. She told my mom that she lived there in Bull Shoals and her husband had recently died. He had a lot of clothes, and she thought he was about dad's size. (Those of you who know my dad know that he is not a normal man size as he is only 5'4" and at the time weighed about 130lb. He is often identified as the "short pastor.") She was wondering if we could use any clothes. Mom told her that we would come down and see. I still remember the day mom took us, and we went to this lady's house. Turns out she was a compulsive shopper. We went into a room and oh, there were so many clothes! And there they were -the pants my mom had been praying for. Not one pair, not five pairs, but twenty-seven pairs of brand new dress pants with tags still on them in all my dad's exact size. Did my dad need twenty-seven pairs of pants - No. does God want to blow us away sometimes with His amazingness - Yes. And He did that day. I was little, so I don't really remember, but I'm pretty sure my dad didn't even have room in his closet for all those pants!
These are some of my stories. I hope you've been encouraged in your faith as we were as each incident happened. I am reminded where God says in the Bible to the Israelites that they were to tell their children the great things God did for them - they were to never forget and never stop telling. It's so important to pass on to our children our faith stories and thus our heritage of faith in a God Who is real and awesome.
In the meantime, grow your own stories. Teach your children to pray. If you don't have a lot needs, be in such a relationship with God that you hear His voice and He can prompt you to meet the needs of others. Include your family - I think that's one of the best things my parents did. Whether we were crying out to God together or we were meeting a need together, they included us in the process and helped us build our faith.
We serve a great God.
My plan was to write a blog post on raising teens, because OH MY WORD I'm learning a lot. We're in the throws, Folks, and we do a lot wrong but by God's grace we've done a few things right. It helps me remember and process to write life stories out, and that was my plan.
But, in the middle of my plan to write a post on parenting teens, I'm reading a book. A book called, The Insanity of God. And I am moved. I am moved by the stories of Christians in other lands. I am overwhelmed by their faith stories. And God says to me, "What about you? Do you remember what I have done for you? Write your faith stories; write the faith stories of your family. Don't ever forget them."
So, instead of a post on parenting teens, here are our faith stories (at least some of them) -
When I was a young child my parents were quite poor. My dad had a taken a job at a small church as their full time pastor. We knew what it meant to live by faith. Our family was growing and out growing the small car that we had. My parents gathered us together one day and said, "Kids, we're outgrowing our car and we need a van. We don't have the money for a van, so we're going to ask our Heavenly Father to provide one for us." And we prayed together. Every day. I still remember praying for this van. After several weeks of praying, we had some first time visitors in our church. They were from Texas. We had never met them before; they had never even been to Bull Shoals before. They had come for vacation. At the service they told my dad that they wanted to meet with him after church. They sat down with him after the service that day and told him that God had laid it on their heart that they were supposed to give their van to him, and asked him if there was a need for one. I think my dad cried. Later that day my parents gathered us all together to told us they had something to tell us. They told us God had answered our prayer and we now had a van. Oh, what excitement! The family from Texas also told him when the tires wore out, he was to call them and they would replace the tires. We drove that van for many years. It not only hauled our family, but it was used as the church van also. We ended up becoming good friends with the visitors from Texas and kept up with them over the years. God moved in their hearts to become missionaries in Mexico. After they had been in Mexico for awhile a need arose. They needed a van to carry the locals to church. My family was able to give the van back to these precious people and it was used not only to bring people to church, but also as a Sunday school class room. These dear people who heard God's voice so many years ago are in their 90s now, and we are still friends.
The year was 1996. I was in Moscow, Russia serving as a missionary for four months. We had a lot of different avenues of ministry that we did while we were there, and a lot of them involved taking public transportation. Trying to always be on mission, we would take Bibles and tracts with us and pass them out on the metros. I loved looking down a metro car after we had passed out tracts to see the people sitting and reading about the love of God that seemed so far away in a place like Moscow. Sometimes the metro cars could be so full of people that you could barely move. We were riding along one day and I looked over at a woman sitting on the bench a little bit down from me. Sometimes when God speaks to you, you think, "Is that me thinking that or God talking?" This time I knew it was God's voice. He said to me, "Give that woman a tract." I don't know why I argued that day, but it seemed very inconvenient to me to walk down and give her a tract. The metro car was somewhat full and there were so many people standing all around this woman that I would have had to push through even to make it to her. So, that's what I told God. "There's too many people around her, God," I said. He replied, "Give that woman a tract." After a couple different lame arguments from me about how hard it would be because of the crowd to give her a tract, I finally said, "God, if you will move the people surrounding her, I will give her a tract." Now, I want to be clear here, God doesn't HAVE to do anything so you will obey Him. Obedience isn't about God, it's about you. But that day, God wanted to teach me something, and I'm so glad He's merciful! The instant I told God that I would give the woman a tract if He would move the people, EVERY SINGLE PERSON around that woman moved. All of them. Instantly. (And there's not that many places to move on a metro in Moscow!) I will never forget it. It was as if God was saying, "There is now NO obstacle for you to give this woman who I want to hear about salvation a tract!" I walked over and gave the woman a tract. I don't know the final outcome, but I have a suspicion that I will see that woman again someday, and we will worship Jesus together.
When we were growing up my dad did almost all of our car repair work on his own. I remember seeing him many times lying under a vehicle trying to figure out how to fix this or that. One day he was under one of our cars changing a part. He was trying to unscrew the part, and he was down to the last screw. Now my dad is a master at being creative when he doesn't have the right tools, but this time it wasn't working. He didn't have the right wrench and the last screw was stubborn. He kept trying different methods, but nothing was working. He just could not get it loose. In discouragement, he prayed, "God, I really need to get this part off and I don't have the right tool, could you help me?" God could have given him super strength at that moment, but He didn't. Right after my dad prayed this prayer, he heard a car drive by on the road in front of our house. As the car went by something fell out and bounced on the road with a clang. My dad drug himself out from the under car to see what it was - it was the EXACT wrench he needed to get the part off the car! True story, Folks. I know it sounds crazy, but it happened. He climbed back under the car and removed the part with ease. My dad carried that wrench around with him in his brief case for years as a reminder of God's faithfulness to us.
When I was 17 I was preparing to go on a mission trip to Russia. I needed a few thousand dollars to be able to go. We didn't have the money, but felt like God was leading me to go. We remembered the quote from Hudson Taylor - “Depend on it. God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply. He is too wise a God to frustrate His purposes for lack of funds, and He can just as easily supply them ahead of time as afterwards, and He much prefers doing so.” We begin to pray for God to provide for my trip. And, oh He did! In ways I never thought possible. I remember sitting in a local bank at a piano playing for their Christmas open house when a woman from the community came to talk to me. She leaned over me while I played and said, "I heard you were going on a mission trip to Russia - I want to help." She set down a check on my bench and walked out. I finished my song and picked up the check - it was for $500. I couldn't believe it! I could barely go back to playing Christmas songs. That was just the first of many. Money continued to come in from my church family, from the community, from relatives - people who were listening to God's voice. Money for the trip was a problem for me, but money is NEVER a problem for God. He provided over the whole amount that I needed for that 4 month mission trip. That trip was one of the most incredible in my life, and I'm so grateful to have been able to share the Gospel so many times in a place that had been so closed off to Jesus for so many years.
When we were growing up even the expense of clothes was a bit of a hardship for my family. My mom did a wonderful job making most of the clothes that we kids wore. My dad on the other hand couldn't really get by with homemade dress pants. He was in need of pants for work at one point, and my mom began to pray. I love how God hears our prayers no matter if we are a man, woman, or child. God was listening to her sweet request - one day a lady walked up to our front door. She told my mom that she lived there in Bull Shoals and her husband had recently died. He had a lot of clothes, and she thought he was about dad's size. (Those of you who know my dad know that he is not a normal man size as he is only 5'4" and at the time weighed about 130lb. He is often identified as the "short pastor.") She was wondering if we could use any clothes. Mom told her that we would come down and see. I still remember the day mom took us, and we went to this lady's house. Turns out she was a compulsive shopper. We went into a room and oh, there were so many clothes! And there they were -the pants my mom had been praying for. Not one pair, not five pairs, but twenty-seven pairs of brand new dress pants with tags still on them in all my dad's exact size. Did my dad need twenty-seven pairs of pants - No. does God want to blow us away sometimes with His amazingness - Yes. And He did that day. I was little, so I don't really remember, but I'm pretty sure my dad didn't even have room in his closet for all those pants!
These are some of my stories. I hope you've been encouraged in your faith as we were as each incident happened. I am reminded where God says in the Bible to the Israelites that they were to tell their children the great things God did for them - they were to never forget and never stop telling. It's so important to pass on to our children our faith stories and thus our heritage of faith in a God Who is real and awesome.
In the meantime, grow your own stories. Teach your children to pray. If you don't have a lot needs, be in such a relationship with God that you hear His voice and He can prompt you to meet the needs of others. Include your family - I think that's one of the best things my parents did. Whether we were crying out to God together or we were meeting a need together, they included us in the process and helped us build our faith.
We serve a great God.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Crushed by Depression - Part 2
I wrote the post "Crushed by Depression" over a year ago now. It was my most read blog post of all the ones that I have ever written. In fact, I haven't written much since then because my heart is still healing. Within a week of posting it I had received message after message after message from women saying that they were going through the same thing. (We're in this together, Sisters!) I was blown away by the response.
I felt that the story needed a follow up - a continuation of my story. It's taken me a awhile to process, but, here it is -
In March last year when I wrote about depression, I was coming out of the darkest period of my life. I've learned a few things since then.
First, you don't come out of a severe depression quickly. Healing takes time. I wanted to be "normal" immediately, and that just doesn't happen.
Second, you see life differently because your life is now different. I remember saying to my husband off and on over the last year, "Do you think I'm back to normal?" He would always give me the same response, "I'm waiting to see if this is your new normal." New normal. I didn't particularly want a "new normal," but that's what it is. I look at life differently because of the challenges I went through. My emotional state is still weak even though I like to think it's not.
Changes are not all bad though. Because you look at life differently, you see people differently. You are better able to be understanding of the challenges others are facing around you. Your "Jesus eyes" develop a little more.
Third, my relationship with God is different. About a month after I had written this post last year, I got sick. Not just your normal head cold, but really sick. For a month. Just when I felt like I was healing emotionally, my body became so sick that I thought I might never be well again. I took an antibiotic that I had a bad reaction to on top of already being sick. I started having severe anxieties again. It seemed like I was spiraling down into the same spot I had been that previous December. I'm not telling this story to get sympathy, but to help you understand where I was with God at this time.
I was crying all the time again. My sweet mom or sister would come and sit with me when Dan wasn't home because it was hard for me to be alone. I remember one day particularly well. I was lying on the couch feeling awful and just crying. My mom was sitting across the room in the rocker talking to me, and trying to help me figure out what was going on.. She looked at me and said, "You're not doubting God, are you?"
The question took my breath away. No one had asked me that, but.....
I had been, and I thought it was too awful to admit. My God, who has been there every step of the way my entire life, was the very God that now every day I was wondering if He was even real.
I looked at her and through even more tears let the words spill out of my soul,
"Yes, every day, YES."
"I doubt the existence of God, I doubt my salvation, I doubt God's love for me because why would I be dealing with all of this if He was there and loved me?"
And then I cried some more.
My mom didn't give me any answers that day. She just let me cry and tell the dark truths of my heart. But after that day I began to be able to process my agonizing thoughts. Instead of just doubts, I begin to ask myself real questions -
"If there is no God, how would it affect me?"
"If everything I believed to be true was not, then what?"
"What would life look like without God?"
And, Oh, how my heart begin to answer me!
It cried back in anguish -
Without God....
I can't make it through ONE day
Without God.....
The loneliness and longing for God would be UNBEARABLE
Without God....
I have nothing to LIVE for
Without God.....
I am NOTHING
Without God....
I. HAVE. NO. HOPE.
......and without hope, there is no living
Then one day, I stood up and shouted quiet in my heart -
"There is no WITHOUT GOD!"
God is.
The Bible is true. God is real. Jesus Christ saves us from death.
Hope is back.
Healing has come.
Without God there is no hope - with God life is beautiful.
The Bible says if we have the faith of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. Believing in God takes faith, but our lives are built on faith. Faith in something. May we not have faith in ourselves and our own beliefs, but in the only true God and Jesus Christ. Then, no matter what life looks like we truly live.
I felt that the story needed a follow up - a continuation of my story. It's taken me a awhile to process, but, here it is -
In March last year when I wrote about depression, I was coming out of the darkest period of my life. I've learned a few things since then.
First, you don't come out of a severe depression quickly. Healing takes time. I wanted to be "normal" immediately, and that just doesn't happen.
Second, you see life differently because your life is now different. I remember saying to my husband off and on over the last year, "Do you think I'm back to normal?" He would always give me the same response, "I'm waiting to see if this is your new normal." New normal. I didn't particularly want a "new normal," but that's what it is. I look at life differently because of the challenges I went through. My emotional state is still weak even though I like to think it's not.
Changes are not all bad though. Because you look at life differently, you see people differently. You are better able to be understanding of the challenges others are facing around you. Your "Jesus eyes" develop a little more.
Third, my relationship with God is different. About a month after I had written this post last year, I got sick. Not just your normal head cold, but really sick. For a month. Just when I felt like I was healing emotionally, my body became so sick that I thought I might never be well again. I took an antibiotic that I had a bad reaction to on top of already being sick. I started having severe anxieties again. It seemed like I was spiraling down into the same spot I had been that previous December. I'm not telling this story to get sympathy, but to help you understand where I was with God at this time.
I was crying all the time again. My sweet mom or sister would come and sit with me when Dan wasn't home because it was hard for me to be alone. I remember one day particularly well. I was lying on the couch feeling awful and just crying. My mom was sitting across the room in the rocker talking to me, and trying to help me figure out what was going on.. She looked at me and said, "You're not doubting God, are you?"
The question took my breath away. No one had asked me that, but.....
I had been, and I thought it was too awful to admit. My God, who has been there every step of the way my entire life, was the very God that now every day I was wondering if He was even real.
I looked at her and through even more tears let the words spill out of my soul,
"Yes, every day, YES."
"I doubt the existence of God, I doubt my salvation, I doubt God's love for me because why would I be dealing with all of this if He was there and loved me?"
And then I cried some more.
My mom didn't give me any answers that day. She just let me cry and tell the dark truths of my heart. But after that day I began to be able to process my agonizing thoughts. Instead of just doubts, I begin to ask myself real questions -
"If there is no God, how would it affect me?"
"If everything I believed to be true was not, then what?"
"What would life look like without God?"
And, Oh, how my heart begin to answer me!
It cried back in anguish -
Without God....
I can't make it through ONE day
Without God.....
The loneliness and longing for God would be UNBEARABLE
Without God....
I have nothing to LIVE for
Without God.....
I am NOTHING
Without God....
I. HAVE. NO. HOPE.
......and without hope, there is no living
Then one day, I stood up and shouted quiet in my heart -
"There is no WITHOUT GOD!"
God is.
The Bible is true. God is real. Jesus Christ saves us from death.
Hope is back.
Healing has come.
Without God there is no hope - with God life is beautiful.
The Bible says if we have the faith of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. Believing in God takes faith, but our lives are built on faith. Faith in something. May we not have faith in ourselves and our own beliefs, but in the only true God and Jesus Christ. Then, no matter what life looks like we truly live.
Saturday, December 31, 2016
When Christmas Happens in Your Home
"Lord," I prayed, "please let us see two children receive Christ tomorrow." We were in Galloway again for the Christmas store. By far, my favorite time to come. They were doing things a little differently this year. Each person who came in to shop at the Christmas store was given a gift for themselves with a personal sharing of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Each person. All one hundred and fifty of them would hear the Gospel in a one on one environment. I had been asked to help with this part of the store, and I felt so blessed to be able to do that. As I was praying the night before for those who would hear the Gospel, I felt compelled in my heart to pray specifically for three children to be saved instead of two. "Three, Lord?" I responded, "Okay, please let us see three children come to You. And, Lord, could I have the privilege of leading one of those to You?" The last part of my prayer was selfish as it doesn't matter how one comes to Christ as long as they do, but I love the joy of seeing someone receive Christ in their heart, and how their whole countenance changes.
I love it.
"What's a worldless book, Mom?" Rylie asked me the next morning. She was watching me prepare my station for the day before the kiddos began to arrive. "Sit down and I'll show you," I told her. Kade was in the room with me too, and I needed to practice anyway. I told him I would show him also. I went through each page of the worldless book with the kids as they watched. They had never seen one before. After I was finished I looked at Rylie and said, "Have you ever accepted Jesus as your Savior?" She, of course said, "Yes." Then I looked at Kade, who so many times has heard the Gospel, but not been ready to receive it. I said, "Have you ever accepted Jesus as your Savior?" He, of course, said, "No". "Would you like to receive Christ?" I asked. And he said, "Yes". I was almost blown away. The kid who has said, "No" to the Gospel so many times, had just said, "Yes!" I told Rylie to go get her daddy. I had been praying for over a year that Dan wouldn't be at work when Kade was saved. I was so grateful he had been able to get the day off. He came in the room, and I asked Kade again if he wanted to ask Jesus in his heart. He said, "Yes" again, and I began to cry. I couldn't stop it. We had been praying for Kade for a couple of years that his heart would be ready for the Gospel. And here he was, with both of us, ready to pray. We bowed our heads, and I helped him pray. When he looked up he was fighting tears. I told him it was ok to cry. His daddy told him that his heart should be happy now. A big smile spread across his face! He was so happy, because that is what Jesus does in our hearts.
As the children began coming into the witnessing room, Kade wanted to help me witness to them. Because when God gets in your heart, you can't help but tell someone else. He would sit with me and tell them that Jesus was the real reason for Christmas. In fact, if they already knew the reason for Christmas, he would get a little put out. Then as I explained the Gospel, he would turn the evangelism cube for me to show them the pictures. And every time he would say to me, Mom, tell them what I did today, tell them that I got saved. He's a shy kid, but he wanted them to know.
I knew the Lord wanted me to pray for three kids to get saved. At the end of the day and seventy-seven kids later, (seventy-three moms had come the day before) we had had two that had prayed to receive Christ - Kade and eleven year old Tao. "Only two Lord," I prayed, "why only two?" I had really felt like I needed to pray for three." One child had been saved the day before, so I rationalized it out that that was the third child I had been led to pray for. I felt like I needed to give God an out, you know, a way to answer my prayer since it didn't seem to happen. I love helping God with His reputation.
It was time to go home, and still only two children of the day had accepted Christ. We got in the car and headed through thunderstorms and ice on our way home. I wresteled with the unanswered prayer all the way home "Three, Lord, three, what happened to the three?"
We got home, unloaded our stuff, and sat down to relax and watch a Christmas movie. The movie was a little longer than I wanted thte kids to stay up, so I stopped it halfway through. I thought about skipping our Advent story, but I decided not to. We read our Advent about how God uses unexpected people and places to do extraordinary things, and then we got ready to pray. I told everyone that we had an extra special reason to be thankful today, and asked if they knew what it was. They said, "Kade becoming a Christian." That was it, of course, and we all congratulated him again.
Except Elijah. He sat on the couch with the oddest expression on his face. Something was wrong. Big alligator tears began to well up in his eyes and roll down his cheeks. I began to ask him questions, "Are you sad that Kade became a Christian? Are you happy that Kade became a Christian? Is something wrong? Are you sad that you are not a Christian?" There it was! He began to sob uncontrollably and nod his head. He was overwhelmed that he didn't have Jesus in his heart, and the fact that Kade now did made him realize that he did not. I always try to be careful with children because you can talk children into almost anything. I don't want to be the one talking a child into receiving Christ, I want it to be God doing the saving. I asked him if he wanted to ask Jesus in his heart and become a Christian. Through his sobs he said, "Yes," Then in pure anguish he cried, "I want to become a Christian, but I don't know how!" I began to cry also. It reminded me of a time so long ago when a jailer thought he was going to die and cried out to Paul and Silas with the words, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" The knowledge that you are in desperate need of Jesus, but you need someone to tell you how to come to Him can be heart wrenching.
I took him on my lap and told him daddy and I would help him. It was ten o clock at night, usually he's sleeping by now. But not this night. The day was not over. The third child of the day was about to have his name written in the Lamb's book of Life! He bowed his head and through his tears prayed as sincere a prayer as a four year old ever prayed. He simply believed in Jesus right there on our couch with his dad, Kade, and I close beside. When he looked up he still could not stop crying. It was a happy cry now though, and he was smiling through his tears.
The night before when I prayed for three children to be saved, I had no idea that two of those would be mine. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness.
Still.
Christmas over two thousand years ago - when God came to earth as a tiny baby in a manger to give us the opportunity to be saved from our sin.
Christmas 2016 - when the reality of what He did came alive in our home.
Our home was very happy as we went to bed that night. I didn't know how I would even go to sleep. I don't think there could be a better Christmas than this one.
*My takeaway from this story - this something that happened in "my everyday life" is that there are so many people in our world crying out with the same anguished cry as Elijah and the jailor from Acts - "I want to be saved, but I don't know how!"
We have the answer. We need to tell others. We need to support those who are doing the telling. We need to be available. We need to be on mission. We need to pray.
Sometimes God answers those prayers in ways you would never expect.
Monday, July 18, 2016
Jesus Loves the Children
"Mom," Rylie said as she looked up at me from where she was sitting on the ground, " I'm going to miss them." "I know, Honey," I replied, "They have a way of getting into your heart, don't they?" She nodded in agreement.
These missionaries living here sometimes don't see it like those of us who come and go. Change is more obvious when you're not in the middle of the everyday.
But change has happened.
The teens that have volunteered to work at summer camp this year don't fight and argue like they used to. They're helpful and kind and work hard. You see, they've been coming to summer camp since they were babies and hearing about a Jesus who changes lives every year. You can't hear that message summer after summer without it changing you.
The streets are better. The crime is less. If you had seen the project housing seventeen years ago, you wouldn't recognize it today because it's so much nicer. Where there used to be multiple policemen, there is now one. There's not trash everywhere. Neighbors are helping neighbors. Kids are graduating from high school. More people are working. Between twenty-five and forty women come every week to a Bible study at the school. They're not comfortable enough to come to church, but they come here and learn about a God who can change their family. Kids I knew seventeen years ago, who got saved through this mission are grown up and are wonderful parents to their own children.
Change. It's happening.
It's happening because of the faithfulness of five people answering a call to obey and serve Christ.
Faithfulness.
I did know. I have been coming here for over seventeen years, and the children that live here have a way of embedding themselves in your heart. You leave thinking you have to come back and see them again, check on them, make sure that their lives are going ok, make sure they've heard about Jesus.
Some of the kids were the ones we saw at Christmas time. The sweet shyness of the Christmas store has turned into summer fun and smiles. They've matured, gotten taller, changed a little.
They're here at the mission for summer camp. They've come almost every day for the past four and a half weeks. They play together, hear Bible stories, do crafts, memorize Scripture, and sing praises.
Oh, the singing!
I've never heard anything like it. Not from children anyway. These mostly unchurched kids from broken homes who know about drugs, alcohol, and sex long before they ever should, sing from somewhere deep inside their hearts to Jesus. With volume and passion they sing
And it's beautiful.
Oh, the singing!
I've never heard anything like it. Not from children anyway. These mostly unchurched kids from broken homes who know about drugs, alcohol, and sex long before they ever should, sing from somewhere deep inside their hearts to Jesus. With volume and passion they sing
And it's beautiful.
I know heaven must sit still when they are singing, because I can't move.
And God smiles.
I'm sure of it. Because these same kids that get in our hearts after a few days, so that we can't forget them, are that much more in the heart of the King of Kings! The empathy we feel as we spend time with them is nothing compared to the love and care God feels for these precious ones! He cares about them so much He had sent His people to take care of them!
God hasn't forgotten them. They are embedded in His heart.
The call has been answered - through a Christian school, through summer camp, through birthday celebrations, (Karen and the girls make sure not one birthday is forgotten, even if it's forgotten at home), through the Christmas store, through much needed food, through hugs, through listening ears, through the mission building that provides needs, through the Gospel message that gets taught year round.
Through five missionaries that help make it all happen because they have a heart like Christ's.
God hasn't forgotten them. They are embedded in His heart.
The call has been answered - through a Christian school, through summer camp, through birthday celebrations, (Karen and the girls make sure not one birthday is forgotten, even if it's forgotten at home), through the Christmas store, through much needed food, through hugs, through listening ears, through the mission building that provides needs, through the Gospel message that gets taught year round.
Through five missionaries that help make it all happen because they have a heart like Christ's.
These missionaries living here sometimes don't see it like those of us who come and go. Change is more obvious when you're not in the middle of the everyday.
But change has happened.
The teens that have volunteered to work at summer camp this year don't fight and argue like they used to. They're helpful and kind and work hard. You see, they've been coming to summer camp since they were babies and hearing about a Jesus who changes lives every year. You can't hear that message summer after summer without it changing you.
The streets are better. The crime is less. If you had seen the project housing seventeen years ago, you wouldn't recognize it today because it's so much nicer. Where there used to be multiple policemen, there is now one. There's not trash everywhere. Neighbors are helping neighbors. Kids are graduating from high school. More people are working. Between twenty-five and forty women come every week to a Bible study at the school. They're not comfortable enough to come to church, but they come here and learn about a God who can change their family. Kids I knew seventeen years ago, who got saved through this mission are grown up and are wonderful parents to their own children.
Change. It's happening.
It's happening because of the faithfulness of five people answering a call to obey and serve Christ.
Faithfulness.
But what about us? What about me? We're not all called to drop our life and pour our everything into a community.
But we're all called to serve.
Service to our families, service to our neighborhoods, service to our churches, service to our communities, service in helping those who are giving everything.
Service with a heart that's beating with the very beat of the Gospel of Jesus.
Because that's where change comes from.
The Gospel is the hope of people everywhere. That's it. We can bring hope; we can bring change; we can make a difference. I've seen it happen.
It's Jesus Christ, the hope of the world.
And what a privilege to be His servant!
Remember the children of Galloway, and pray for them. And the children in your home, the children in your neighborhood, the children in your city, the children in your country, and the children in your world.
May we never tire, may we never quit, may we never give up. Because there is always hope.
But we're all called to serve.
Service to our families, service to our neighborhoods, service to our churches, service to our communities, service in helping those who are giving everything.
Service with a heart that's beating with the very beat of the Gospel of Jesus.
Because that's where change comes from.
The Gospel is the hope of people everywhere. That's it. We can bring hope; we can bring change; we can make a difference. I've seen it happen.
It's Jesus Christ, the hope of the world.
And what a privilege to be His servant!
Remember the children of Galloway, and pray for them. And the children in your home, the children in your neighborhood, the children in your city, the children in your country, and the children in your world.
May we never tire, may we never quit, may we never give up. Because there is always hope.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Gardening Hearts
"I want to plant a garden this year," Rylie said to me a few weeks ago. I grimaced a little. "Sweetie," I said as kindly as possible, "our yard is really not good for gardening." "But I really want to try," she insisted. "Well, you'll have to talk to your dad," I said, mainly because I stink at gardening. I remembered the last time this came up. It's been about three years ago now when I wanted a garden. I talked Dan into putting one in for me. As he did it, he reminded me how I don't like gardening, or caring for plants, or weeding, or pretty much anything that has to do with gardening except eating. "I know," I told him, "but it will be different this time." That was the last time I had a garden.
I fully expected Dan to nip any gardening ideas in the bud. (pun intended) He hates gardening. And not only that, he doesn't like eating vegetables! Which makes gardening really pointless. But, Rylie trotted off with hope in her heart that this was going to be her year to be a gardener.
I had my "it's ok, we'll try something different" speech all ready for her big let down that the Van Pattens are not gardeners, when she came back in from talking with her dad with a smile on her face. "Dad says I can have my garden, Mom!" she said. "He did?" I asked. "But, he doesn't like gardening, and we all know I'm not going to help...." "But, dad said he's going to help me!" She replied excitedly. "This won't last long," I thought to myself.
The next thing I knew there was a garden being planted in my yard. Plants and dirt were bought, ground was tilled, seeds were put in, and everything was watered. Dan and Rylie spent many hours out there working on her garden. As I watched them out the window, I kept thinking about how much Dan does not like gardening. He makes it very clear every time a garden is brought up. But there he was out there bending over the dirt with his daughter building a garden.
As I stood looking out the window, my heart was overwhelmed. I realized that the gardening was not about the garden at all.
It was about love.
It was about a dad that loves his daughter more than he loves himself. Here was a dad that had just spent a good bit of money and a lot of time doing something he hates because his 10 year old daughter wanted to try her hand at gardening. He knows the drill, he knows the odds. Chances are we'll eat one bean out of the entire garden, and buying that bean at Farmer's Market will in the end be a whole lot cheaper. But he gained something far more than vegetables.
He won her heart.
She knows she's valuable to him because what was important to her became important to him.
I fully expected Dan to nip any gardening ideas in the bud. (pun intended) He hates gardening. And not only that, he doesn't like eating vegetables! Which makes gardening really pointless. But, Rylie trotted off with hope in her heart that this was going to be her year to be a gardener.
I had my "it's ok, we'll try something different" speech all ready for her big let down that the Van Pattens are not gardeners, when she came back in from talking with her dad with a smile on her face. "Dad says I can have my garden, Mom!" she said. "He did?" I asked. "But, he doesn't like gardening, and we all know I'm not going to help...." "But, dad said he's going to help me!" She replied excitedly. "This won't last long," I thought to myself.
The next thing I knew there was a garden being planted in my yard. Plants and dirt were bought, ground was tilled, seeds were put in, and everything was watered. Dan and Rylie spent many hours out there working on her garden. As I watched them out the window, I kept thinking about how much Dan does not like gardening. He makes it very clear every time a garden is brought up. But there he was out there bending over the dirt with his daughter building a garden.
As I stood looking out the window, my heart was overwhelmed. I realized that the gardening was not about the garden at all.
It was about love.
It was about a dad that loves his daughter more than he loves himself. Here was a dad that had just spent a good bit of money and a lot of time doing something he hates because his 10 year old daughter wanted to try her hand at gardening. He knows the drill, he knows the odds. Chances are we'll eat one bean out of the entire garden, and buying that bean at Farmer's Market will in the end be a whole lot cheaper. But he gained something far more than vegetables.
He won her heart.
She knows she's valuable to him because what was important to her became important to him.
This is love in action, Dads. Dying to yourself and your interests for the interests of your kids. Spending time with them doing the things they want to learn even if you know how it's going to turn out. It's the best kind of parenting there is.
This is not the first time I've seen it.
Kade has an aircraft carrier designed by his dad, and made out of foam. We have model planes all over our house. (I've given up on decorating!) We have a swimming pool that gets put up and cared for every year by a dad who doesn't even use it. We go fishing, and the dad who actually likes to fish, spends most of his time baiting other people's hooks and untangling lines. This is the stuff my kids are going to remember. I'm sure that someday they'll appreciate that their dad provided for them and instructed them, but right now he's winning their hearts by being interested in what they are interested in.
Love in action.
Laying down your life for your children. It's the kind of dad I grew up with, the kind of dad my kids have, and the kind of dad I hope my sons will be someday.
I walked outside yesterday to look at Rylie's garden. There's little shoots everywhere. She proudly showed me what was coming up. The lettuce is almost ready to eat! You see, she's been faithfully taking care of her garden. She seems to actually like gardening. She would never have known that without her dad taking interest in her interest.
The garden is beautiful, and Rylie's proud smile is infectious, but me? What have I gotten out of this garden? I've fallen in love with my kid's dad all over again.
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13
This is not the first time I've seen it.
Kade has an aircraft carrier designed by his dad, and made out of foam. We have model planes all over our house. (I've given up on decorating!) We have a swimming pool that gets put up and cared for every year by a dad who doesn't even use it. We go fishing, and the dad who actually likes to fish, spends most of his time baiting other people's hooks and untangling lines. This is the stuff my kids are going to remember. I'm sure that someday they'll appreciate that their dad provided for them and instructed them, but right now he's winning their hearts by being interested in what they are interested in.
Love in action.
Laying down your life for your children. It's the kind of dad I grew up with, the kind of dad my kids have, and the kind of dad I hope my sons will be someday.
I walked outside yesterday to look at Rylie's garden. There's little shoots everywhere. She proudly showed me what was coming up. The lettuce is almost ready to eat! You see, she's been faithfully taking care of her garden. She seems to actually like gardening. She would never have known that without her dad taking interest in her interest.
The garden is beautiful, and Rylie's proud smile is infectious, but me? What have I gotten out of this garden? I've fallen in love with my kid's dad all over again.
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)