Gardening Hearts

"I want to plant a garden this year," Rylie said to me a few weeks ago. I grimaced a little. "Sweetie," I said as kindly as possible, "our yard is really not good for gardening." "But I really want to try," she insisted. "Well, you'll have to talk to your dad," I said, mainly because I stink at gardening.  I remembered the last time this came up. It's been about three years ago now when I wanted a garden. I talked Dan into putting one in for me. As he did it, he reminded me how I don't like gardening, or caring for plants, or weeding, or pretty much anything that has to do with gardening except eating. "I know," I told him, "but it will be different this time." That was the last time I had a garden.

I fully expected Dan to nip any gardening ideas in the bud. (pun intended) He hates gardening. And not only that, he doesn't like eating vegetables! Which makes gardening really pointless. But, Rylie trotted off with hope in her heart that this was going to be her year to be a gardener.

I had my "it's ok, we'll try something different" speech all ready for her big let down that the Van Pattens are not gardeners, when she came back in from talking with her dad with a smile on her face. "Dad says I can have my garden, Mom!" she said. "He did?" I asked. "But, he doesn't like gardening, and we all know I'm not going to help...." "But, dad said he's going to help me!" She replied excitedly. "This won't last long," I thought to myself.

The next thing I knew there was a garden being planted in my yard. Plants and dirt were bought, ground was tilled, seeds were put in, and everything was watered. Dan and Rylie spent many hours out there working on her garden. As I watched them out the window, I kept thinking about how much Dan does not like gardening. He makes it very clear every time a garden is brought up. But there he was out there bending over the dirt with his daughter building a garden. 

As I stood looking out the window, my heart was overwhelmed. I realized that the gardening was not about the garden at all.

It was about love.

It was about a dad that loves his daughter more than he loves himself. Here was a dad that had just spent a good bit of money and a lot of time doing something he hates because his 10 year old daughter wanted to try her hand at gardening. He knows the drill, he knows the odds. Chances are we'll eat one bean out of the entire garden, and buying that bean at Farmer's Market will in the end be a whole lot cheaper. But he gained something far more than vegetables.

He won her heart.

She knows she's valuable to him because what was important to her became important to him.

This is love in action, Dads. Dying to yourself and your interests for the interests of your kids. Spending time with them doing the things they want to learn even if you know how it's going to turn out. It's the best kind of parenting there is.

This is not the first time I've seen it.

Kade has an aircraft carrier designed by his dad, and made out of foam. We have model planes all over our house. (I've given up on decorating!) We have a swimming pool that gets put up and cared for every year by a dad who doesn't even use it. We go fishing, and the dad who actually likes to fish, spends most of his time baiting other people's hooks and untangling lines. This is the stuff my kids are going to remember. I'm sure that someday they'll appreciate that their dad provided for them and instructed them, but right now he's winning their hearts by being interested in what they are interested in.

Love in action.

Laying down your life for your children. It's the kind of dad I grew up with, the kind of dad my kids have, and the kind of dad I hope my sons will be someday.

I walked outside yesterday to look at Rylie's garden. There's little shoots everywhere. She proudly showed me what was coming up. The lettuce is almost ready to eat! You see, she's been faithfully taking care of her garden. She seems to actually like gardening. She would never have known that without her dad taking interest in her interest.

The garden is beautiful, and Rylie's proud smile is infectious, but me? What have I gotten out of this garden? I've fallen in love with my kid's dad all over again.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13